


Break the Chain

by Tripleqmark



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Star-Lord - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-16 20:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11836503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tripleqmark/pseuds/Tripleqmark
Summary: Set after Volume 2, spoilers. Rocket isn't coping very well with recent events and Peter tries to help.





	1. Slippin' On By

**Author's Note:**

> From Peter's perspective. This takes place about a week after the second movie ends.

It’s been about a week since Yondu’s funeral. He really was a father to me, I wish I had realized it sooner. There are a lot of things I wish I could have said to him. He got the ravager funeral he wanted though. It’s been hard but I’m doing alright. Thing is, now that I’m feeling better I’m starting to notice things are a bit… quiet around here. I mean they’re not quiet but something’s missing.  
  
Turns out Groot’s grown up a bit and is going through a bit of a teenager phase so he’s locked himself in his room most of the time. It’s funny, I finally meet my dad and figure out who my real dad is and now I’m playing father to a tree. Life is weird sometimes. Gamora has been kind of down since Nebula left, we haven’t talked much but I made sure she knows that I’ll be there when she’s ready to talk. She wasn’t much of a talker anyway so I know it’s not that. Everyone else is kind of doing their own thing except… Rocket. The more I think about it I realize I haven’t seen him in days actually… maybe longer. I ask around and no one else has either, including Groot (at least I’m pretty sure, still getting the hang of understanding him). I hope he didn’t sneak out without telling anyone for some bounty or treasure hunt.  
  
We picked our rooms pretty much as soon as the funeral ended, it was kind of a long day. Rocket picked one at the end of a hallway, I assume it was one of the nicer ones but I haven’t actually seen it yet. I knocked on the door, “Rocket you in there?”. I didn’t hear any response so I went to knock again but before I could I heard a hoarse “Go away”. It sounded weak and like he hadn’t spoken in a while. At this point I was getting worried “Rocket, are you alright? I’m pretty sure no one’s seen you since the funeral? Are you alright?”. No answer.  
  
One of the first things I did as “Captain” once things calmed down was get the master key code for the rooms, I didn’t think I would need it this soon. “Rocket I’m coming in.” I said, as I entered the code. As the door was opening I heard Rocket’s panicked response “What?! I told you to get the hell away from me.”. His voice was a little clearer now but he still didn’t sound like his normal self. Once the door opened I got a better picture of what was going on. Rocket was lying in bed with a bottle of… I don’t know some kind of space whiskey with a few other empty bottles lying around the room, the room reeked of it. His fur was a mess with the fur around his eyes particularly matted and wet. Was Rocket crying? Rocket cries?  
  
“Rocket what’s going on with you? Have you been crying?” I asked gently, he can be temperamental normally so god knows how he’d react if he’s actually upset.  
  
His response was swift; “Quill I told you to leave, I’m fine. Do I look like I’m crying? What would I even have to cry about?”. Rocket’s tone was defensive, if I didn’t know better I’d say he was scared.  
  
“Rocket your room is covered in alcohol bottles, you absolutely do look like you’ve been crying and no one has seen you out of your room in over a week. Although it looks like you made time to grab a drink or ten without anyone noticing. I don’t know why you’re upset but you’re clearly not fine.” Rocket didn’t say anything in response but he finally moved to furrow his brow and cross his arms, fists clenched tight.  
  
“I know you were upset with what happened to Yondu but you barely even knew the guy, is there something else going on?” Rocket kept his recent oath of silence and just shuffled in bed, taking a swig of alcohol. This isn’t going to work, I’m not a mind reader. I tried again to get him to talk. “Is this about the whole battery thing? We all forgave you for that, I thought we made that clear. If you did something just tell us, really it’s alright.”  
  
That finally got a reaction out of him but not particularly one I was hoping for, he dropped the bottle and stared at me for a moment before speaking. “It sure the hell is about the battery. It’s about this whole god damn team.” Surprisingly he started tearing up a little at this point, wetting the already damp fur around his eyes. “You guys just go around saying you forgive people. That everything is fine now… how the hell can anyone forgive me for the shit I’ve done? Yondu told me we’re pretty much the same but I’m not Yondu. I didn’t give my life to save anyone, I doubt I would. If I were in his position I would’ve just escaped and left you there. I don’t deserve this. I couldn’t save him, I left both of you to die. Even before that I couldn’t protect the ship. I got captured by the fucking ravagers of all people.” Rocket’s voice was starting to wear out a bit but he pressed on after a breath, even louder than before. “We might not have even gotten into that mess so unprepared if I didn’t fuck up and take that battery but I did take it because I’m a horrible person who steals and cheats and I hurt people I care about, I’m a worthless freak and you people can’t seem to understand how much better off you’d be without me. I’m not a good person Quill. I’m not even a person I’m a thing, just some rotten experiment gone wrong. So there’s nothing wrong _Captain,_ I’m just building up the courage to leave and I’ll be out of your hair alright?”  
  
I just stood there for a while, I think my mouth was open to some extent. By the end of his rant Rocket’s voice was beginning to wear and he was out of breath, tears still streaming down his cheeks despite his angry expression. I definitely was not prepared for the barrage of comments and emotions coming at me. I mean where do I even start with something like this? “Rocky… what are you talking about? You’re amazing. You’re smart, smarter than me at least, brave, you’re a damn good shot. Forget about that shit we all make mistakes, I probably make the most of anyone here. We need you here Rocket, we want you here. You’re not a freak or a thing either. You’re a person, a pretty decent person no less.” I looked at him nervously hoping my speech did the trick…  
  
“We? Have you actually asked the other people on the team? Maybe an idiot like you thinks I won’t just screw things up but the others know better.” he spat back at me.  
  
I was a little rattled, to be honest I hadn’t actually talked to the team about Rocket recently but they must feel the same way I do right? He’s part of the team. “Good point I’ll go ask them, you can talk to them yourself.” About halfway through the sentence Rocket sat straight up in bed for the first time since we started talking and his eyes went a little wide. “WAIT wait Peter don’t tell anyone about this please. I wanted to sneak out before anyone noticed, I don’t want the others to see me like this… please...” His panicked expression turned to sadness as he hung his head in shame.  
  
  
I moved into the room towards the bed, away from the door. I hadn’t actually moved since I came in, I was so startled. I sat down on the side of the bed next to Rocket and slowly put my hand on his shoulder. “Alright Rocket you got it no team. Forget about the rest of the team. I want you here. I want to see you happy, flying around blasting shit. I know you’re important to the rest of the team but if you won’t take my word for it then at least believe me when I say that I need you here.” My thankfully unbitten hand rested gently on his shoulder. He was warm and his fur was a little messy but still surprisingly soft. Before I could get used to the contact though Rocket gently moved my hand away with his own.  
  
“I know you want to help, you always do, but you need to just let me go. Just get out of here Quill, leave me alone.” His voice was sad and gentle coming from him that only made me feel worse. I felt my heart sink as he spoke. It didn’t work. I tried to come up with a response but my mind went blank. The only thought in my head was that I’m supposed to be the leader and I’m screwing this up. What else could I say to him?  
  
I looked at him one last time before leaving, “Look, Rocket I’m going to leave and let you get some rest but this isn’t over. Don’t sneak out either. Put down the booze and get some sleep, I’ll be in to see you tomorrow.” He didn’t meet my gaze though, he looked towards the floor so intently as if trying to see through it. I sighed and left the room, walking back to my own room and collapsing onto the couch, my head buried in a pillow.  
  
That night I ran through the conversation in my head over and over. Thinking about it I felt an imagined pain in my chest. I could tell the other guardians but I don’t think having several other people in the room yelling at him would’ve helped. Mantis is the expert here but Rocket barely even knows her, I doubt he’d trust anything she said never mind allow her to touch him. No, for now I go it alone. I’m in way over my head but that’s nothing out of the ordinary for the mighty Star-Lord after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to review, I don't do much writing but I put some effort into this so hopefully it's decent. Later chapters, assuming I keep going, may veer into m/m territory but I'll make it clear in the notes if that happens. I'm pretty much going to wing it.


	2. If You Ever Change Your Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter does his best to care for Rocket.

I felt my face reflexively wince as I quietly opened Rocket's door. Most likely everything would've gone according to plan but part of me was slightly worried that Rocket has set some kind of trap or would wake up and shoot me. I mean he didn't but you never know with him. 

The room to my surprise was a bit more tidy than yesterday, with the empty bottles corked and piled in the corner. You could actually only barely smell the alcohol now and there was a hint of Rocket's scent detectable in the room, your typical woodland creature musky scent I guess. I took long drawn out steps towards his bed. From here I could just barely make out the tip of his nose peeking out from under a pillow and the nape of his neck from between the pillow and the blanket. He'd be adorable if he wasn't capable of killing me in more ways than I can count.

I leaned in a bit, just out of his reach, and whispered "Hey sleepy head wake up". He stirred a little but didn't wake up. Maybe that was too nice. I tried again, still whispering but a bit louder. "Rocket get your furry butt out of bed or I'm going to dismantle your favorite blaster." That pretty much did it, he immediately started grumbling half-asleep "I fucking swear Peter if you put a hand on him I'll rip your eyes from your skull..." this was followed by some movement and some general moans and sounds of annoyance until I took the pillow off of his head. He moved quickly to shield his eyes from the light that he was presumably too drunk to bother to turn off last night. Despite his annoyance I think he was expecting something like this otherwise this would've gone a lot worse.

His fur was all messed up, sticking in random directions. I could see just under the blanket that he only had some boxers on. It's not like this is the first time I've seen a crew member in their underwear, at least he wears something to bed unlike Drax..Overall he looked a bit disheveled but I knew bringing it up would just lead to an argument so I put the conversation off for later.

I sat down next to him on the bed and gave him a cheerful "Good morning Rocket.". I wasn't feeling particularly cheerful of course. Things have been really hard lately and on top of all that now I find out that one of my friends has been suffering while I've been too engrossed in my own loss to notice. I can't do anything about the past but I can help Rocket now. After a bit of hesitation Rocket groggily responds "Good morning jackass", lifting a paw from one eye so he can see me.

I brought my left hand into his view so he can see the 'breakfast' I brought him. "Alright so I wanted to make you a great breakfast but I realized I can't cook and also we're on a ravager ship that mostly just has canned rations so... I brought you some canned rations... in a bowl." I placed the bowl and spoon on the nightstand next to the bed. Honestly I'm not sure what kind of food it was, I couldn't read the alien label, but it tastes alright. Rocket sat up a bit, his eyes having adjusted to the light. 

"Jeez Quill if you want to get into my pants they're right over there." He said with a sarcastic smirk while gesturing toward a pile of clothes near the wall. I smirked, glad he was at least making jokes. "Ha ha, now eat your generic space food. When's the last time you even ate anything?" I met his gaze with a stern look. He looked somewhat ashamed considering his answer, looking down and away from me "Does... uh does drinking count?". I asked again "I'm serious Rocket. When did you last eat?". He finally looked at me a little more solemn this time, like a kid caught making trouble. "I guess a few days ago? Maybe 4... or 5..." He was more than ashamed now, he looked a little scared actually, eyes wide, his ears back slightly, like he was ready for me to start ranting about how he needs to take better care of himself. 

I decided to take a slightly more positive tone instead, gently placing my hand on his shoulder like I did before. "Well it's a good thing I brought you food then. Don't worry buddy. I'll make sure you keep eating properly until you're feeling better.". At that Rocket looked... well I guess he'd be blushing if his fur wasn't in the way, he seemed elated at my response and more than a little happy I wasn't angry at him. He quickly reverted to a more neutral facial expression but there was no hiding he was happy about the gesture. I moved my hand away and he finally grabbed the food and started eating. It was clear now he hadn't had anything to eat in a while as he wolfed down bite after bite of the honestly pretty mediocre food like it was the best thing he had ever tasted.

Watching him eat I felt good, like we were making some progress. I also noticed that his fur actually didn't seem quite as dirty as I assumed it would be. "Honestly, Rocket you look a bit cleaner than I expected." I said admiring the slight sheen on his fur. He stopped eating just long enough to respond. "Yeah, well, the smell of vomit in my fur was really hindering my drinking." He said, taking another bite completely unphased by talking about vomit while eating at the same time. I nervously replied, a little grossed out. "Well that's good I guess. Wouldn't want you to get an infection or something." I sat next him on the bed idly, kicking my legs slightly. His response, a disinterested mutterance, was far from enthusiastic.

I sat back a bit and stifled a yawn, reminding me of my thoughts of Rocket's health from last night. "So, Rocket have you been sleeping alright?" Ironically in truth I hadn't been sleeping very well myself but right now I'm here to help Rocket, not myself.

Rocket stopped eating for a minute, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and responded "Ha, depends on how much I've had to drink." it was meant as a joke but his tone didn't match the sentiment and a solemn look came over him. He manages a minute of happiness and I already screwed it up. I sat up again and said knowingly "Bad dreams?".That had certainly been my issue lately. Dreams of Yondu dying, dreams of Ego dying, dreams of Ego living, dreams of me becoming Ego. It's been hard to get through a night without waking up. 

Rocket looks down at his paws and closes his eyes as he responds to my question. "Quill, bad dreams are the only kind I've ever had. I don't always remember them but even then when I wake up I can still feel it lingering." He paused a moment, his right paw reaching towards and running along some of the implants in his back before he continued. "Being ripped open, feeling them tinkering around and then putting me back together only to have them tear me open again. Sometimes they remove something, sometimes they add something. I don't know at this point if they're dreams or memories but honestly it doesn't matter anymore." He finally looks up from his hands at me and I can see tears start forming in his eyes as his face contorts in anger and pain. 

He speaks again, his voice a wavering a bit more now "Pete I appreciate the concern, really, but nothing is going to fix... this" He says, gesturing to himself with both paws, letting his right settle back onto his implants. "I sleep a little better if I black out drunk at least" he says with a slightly lighter tone, almost as if it's the silver lining to this conversation.

Suddenly my recent issues with sleep don't seem so bad. I begin to open my mouth, desperate to say something to lighten the mood or make him feel better but Rocket cuts me off. "How about you? You don't look like you've slept well either. Bad dreams?" I hesitated for a minute but Rocket's been so open with me it feels like a betrayal to keep it to myself. I look up and remember the thoughts that have kept me up at night. "I keep dreaming about Yondu and Ego. Yondu frozen in space, holding me. I wish I knew how I felt sooner but by the time I realized what he meant to me he was gone. With Ego I dream about what would have happened if I joined him, everyone dying. I dream about what would happen if I was in his position, where I end up becoming him." 

When I look down at rocket again he's actually smiling. Before I can call him an asshole though he speaks up. "Peter Quill you really are a moron. Yondu saved you because he loved you, he saved you to redeem himself for everything he'd done. I don't think there is any way he would've rather gone out." This time he's the one putting his hand on my shoulder, his grip firm and steady. I focus on the warmth of his hand as he speaks. "As for Ego he's gone, we blew him to bits and you might have thought about it but I don't think there was any real chance of you joining him or becoming him. He was a lonely bitter asshole, like me. You're not like that, you're better than that."

I wanted to tell him that he shouldn't think of himself that way but as I felt tears stream I couldn't find the strength to speak up. I managed to utter, "Thanks Rocket" my tone softer and more quiet than usual. His paws went back to his breakfast and I laid back across his bed thinking about my friends, my crew, my family. 

I shift over a bit so I'm lying diagonally across the bed and I can see part of Rocket's bare back. There are more than a few scars and cybernetic parts back there. I've seen it before once or twice but he seems pretty sensitive about it. I think back to his nightmares and wonder out loud "So Rocket... does your back ever... like, get sore or anything?" He stops eating and part of me wondered if maybe he simply finished until I see his incredulous face staring back at me. I try to ignore it but he continues to stare and his mouth is a bit open now. 

Finally after what felt like the longest 10 seconds of my life he responds. "Quill what the flark are you talking about? Do you think I never get sore because I'm some sort of cyborg freak?" At this point he's snarling a bit too. Oops, not what I was going for. I quickly interject with my hands in front of me using the hopefully universal sign for 'hold on'. "What?! No no I just wanted to know if your implants ever hurt, like if they ever get sore besides normal back muscle stuff?"

That seemed to have worked, his face relaxes into a smirk at the misunderstanding. "I guess this is what I get for opening up, should've expected questions. Anyway yeah the area around my implants do get a bit sore sometimes." He eats the last bite of food and places the bowl and spoon on the night stand. "Actually my back in general gets sore pretty easy if I switch back and forth between walking normally and moving around on all fours too much. I guess you know my weakness now Quill, you better keep it to yourself." I grin too, happy he was willing to confide in me. "Secret's safe with me buddy."

I move over again, this time I'm pretty close to Rocket and I can get a full view of his back until he turns to look at me. I sit up a bit and look at him while smiling "Hey, do you want a back rub then? It feels good I promise." He looks a bit nervous at first, little whiskers twitching, but quickly hides it with another grin. "Ha, wow Star-Lord, you really are hitting on me. I guess, if you're going to insist, I wouldn't mind. Just uh... be gentle alright?"

I've done this a few times before so I'm not too worried but I've never done it on a raccoon or someone cybernetically modified so hopefully it actually helps and isn't incredibly painful or something. I shift over so I'm sitting behind Rocket now and gently place my hands on his back near his shoulders. "You definitely alright with this right? I don't want to be disinfecting bite marks for the rest of the week."

Rocket kept his head down, his body still between my legs. "Yeah, Quill I said it's fine. Just do your best. I mean don't think I owe you anything but my back has been killing me after getting beat around by a freaking planet. Just start slow alright?"

I slowly moved both my hands down firmly against his back, doing my best to avoid much pressure on any implants, and then back up once I got to his waist. Rocket made some quiet sounds of contentment but that might have just been my imagination. I continued with the heel of my palms pressing a little more firmly and moving my hands in a slightly more circular motion feeling the soft fur, scarred skin and metal implants run along my palms. Now I could definitely hear Rocket. Although he tried to keep his mouth shut I guess it was difficult with his sensitive back being pressed into like this. The sounds were actually kind of cute if not a bit bestial, kind of like soft moaning mixed with like purring and some kind of chittering noise? Honestly I've never gotten any kind of massage myself but if it can make someone like Rocket moan it must be pretty good.

I could feel one part of his back in particular was really tense. "This might hurt a little Rocket but it'll feel better later alright?" I said hoping to prep Rocket for a bit more pressure. His response was some kind of affirmative grunt. I think he tried to say "go ahead" but it definitely didn't come out as a sentence.

Pressing one hand against the thumb on the other I firmly pressed my thumb up his back and into the tense spot going over it once, passing over it and going back again. There was an implant near it but I think I managed to avoid hitting into it. His body tensed a bit at the new pressure but managed to relax a bit as I continued. The sounds continued, thankfully nothing sounded particularly like a expression of pain, I'm pretty sure. I pressed into his back this way a few more times before switching back to using both hands, the way I started. Finally I stopped, lifting my hands off his back. "Alright all done Rocket. So what'd you think? Feel better?"

Rocket just fell forward as I let go of him, completely limp. My heart stopped for a second worried he might've gotten hurt somehow. "Woah, you okay man? Are you hurt?" He turned to me with an extremely content look on his face. "Pete that felt amazing!" I don't think I've heard him this happy about anything besides a gun or a ship. As soon as Rocket realized how ecstatic he sounded he changed his tone to a more sarcastic one. "You know Quill maybe you should quit this whole guardian thing and become a masseuse." Rocket's tone may have been mocking and he implied I suck at my job but I knew it was just his way of giving a compliment.

I quipped back "Maybe I will, looks like I'll have at least one regular customer." Rocket just looked a bit embarassed at my comment as I moved to the other side of the bed and stood up. "I'm glad you liked it though". He looked up at me lazily, moving just his head. "Alright don't get a big head about it or anything Star-Lord, I bet you'll screw it up next time." I looked back at him waiting a moment for him to realize what he said. "Next time huh?". That got him a bit flustered, he just buried his face in the bed and I heard a muffled "If you feel like it or something, I guess." I just smiled at that.

Rocket laid like that for 5 minutes or so before lifting his head up to see me sitting on the nearby desk chair. I spoke up first "So are you still thinking of leaving?". Rocket pondered a bit and shrugged "Maybe I'll stick around a little longer." It was probably undeserved but I felt a bit accomplished hearing him say that. I mean I didn't really do that much, we just talked a bit and I was nice to him. "I'm gonna hold you to that Rocket, we need you around here. Plus the galaxy is a lot more fun when I see it with you, ya know." Rocket smirked and looked at me like I said something incredibly cheesy. I mean I didn't right? It's true anyway. Rocket always finds a way to make things interesting, though his way tends to involve a lot of guns.

Before anything else could be said we heard some knocking on the door followed by Gamora's frustrated voice "Rocket are you in there? There is a power coupling causing issues and I really can't make heads or tails of it." Part of me thought it was hilarious that she and some of the other guardians had started using earth idioms. I guess they listen to me more than I noticed. I looked over at Rocket and compared to how relaxed he looked before he looked incredibly nervous now. His fur was standing on end a bit and his expression had turned to a nervous anger.

Rocket finally spat out a response "I'm busy, leave me alone! I don't have time to teach you idiots how to properly hook up a damn power coupling." Gamora wasn't thrilled at his response but thankfully calmed herself before answering. "Rocket, come on. We need this up and running. I'm sure it'll only take you a minute."

I looked at Rocket judgementally and he looked back with some understanding. "Look Gamora I can't fix it right now but you can ask Crab Fin. He should be able to fix it." Gamora paused a bit before registering who the nickname was referring to. "Fine, but I'm coming back if he can't." she said forcefully. Rocket didn't seem worried about that so I guess it's a pretty simple issue.

I waited a moment until I was sure Gamora was gone, although I guess it didn't really matter if she knew I was in here. "You're going to have to tell everyone what's going on with you Rocket. You can't just stay locked up in here and hope no one besides me notices." I don't think he liked his options but he knew I was right. "What am I supposed to say? 'Hey guys you know how I hate myself? Well, it's been worse than usual and I'd just really appreciate it if you'd pretend like I don't exist for a while.'" I nodded. "Yeah honestly something like that would help. I mean, if you don't want them to worry you should probably word it better but I'd prefer it over saying nothing and just shutting yourself in your room."

I stood from the chair and folded my arms "Come on man. You have to do this, you owe everyone at least some kind of explanation. You can practice with me." Rocket just groaned and sat up. "Hey everyone. I know I'm a huge burden but Quill convinced me to stick around so blame him if I end up ruining anything else" He looked at me waiting for a response, like he actually would be willing to say that. I groaned this time, burying my face in my hands "This is going to take a while isn't it..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out a lot longer than I anticipated but I'm pretty happy with it. I've been trying to incorporate feedback from the first chapter so hopefully there is a noticeable improvement. Thanks for reading so far.


End file.
